Yep, still the same Esther.
Remember that girl who told her Spanish teacher to shut up?
The one who told the class clown to f- off while her Physics teacher was standing right next to her?
Yeah, yesterday she basically compared her calculus professor to Stalin. To his face. And then she stalked his family, much to the annoyance of his wife.
…
Ok, neither of these were on purpose. The Stalin comment….some of us were at his office hours and he said something along the lines of “Sometimes manual labor is actually extremely beneficial”. The strange way my mind works, I immediately connected this statement to communism, and realized that it was something that Stalin would say to the USSR: “By doing seemingly meaningless hard labor, you are greatly helping your people! Good job comrades!” So, of course, like a fool I said was I was thinking. The Dower-ites that I was with were rightfully amazed that I was so audacious. One of them, after laughing: “This is tact, according to Esther.” Aka, I have none. But at least he realized that I didn’t actually think he was a tyrant…
And then. So, bear in mind that this is the same day (aka, yesterday). We have to turn our homework in at 5pm. I ran out of my dorm at 5:10pm to the science center to turn it in. I’m almost there, and I pass my First Year Mentor (who is also my Supplemental Instructor for calculus). Since she is my Supplemental Instructor, she knows exactly why I am running to the science center, and she starts exasperatingly pointing to my left.
At this point, it’s important to realize the setting. The Science Center is directly in front of me. I am on a narrow, slightly hidden path surrounded by trees. To the left, past the trees, is a big open area with a few paths before College Rd. The path that I am on is on a slight hill, so when I look out to the open area, I can clearly see my calculus professor walking with his family out to College Rd. Even in that split second, I noticed the suitcase style bag that undoubtedly held the homework.
And so, in all my desperation, I unconsciously yell “FRICK!” and book it down a connecting path to reach him. I run for speed, not grace, so he hears me before I even reach them. At this point, I’ve been running for a while (from the dorm to the science center, from the path to his family), so I initially just hand him the homework without explanation. After some words of surprise, he actually takes it (which was awesome). Of course, while he is talking, I can’t help but focus on his beautiful children. His redheaded three year old looks up at me with a mixture of curiosity and hesitation.
This might seem strange, but I really miss kids. I used to help with the 1-2 year olds at my church, and so my child-loving self could not be contained as I stood awkwardly with his family. It was only a little bit awkward, simply because my math prof is kind of an awkward guy…but it definitely got more awkward once I noticed the unamused look on his wife’s face. And I want to give her some credit, since she has three children under the age of four, so she’s probably hella tired all the time. But still.
This whole event was kind of in a blur of motion and unimportant conversation, but even as I started to plan a way out, I realized that I was going to walk back to my dorm. This is significant because I was going to dinner with the other girls at a different dorm, one across from College Rd. But, I decided that I did not want to make this walk with my math teacher’s family, as it would be the very definition of awkward. So, I leave, and walk back to Dower. But, to get to Dower, I have to go back on that path where I’m parallel to College Rd, but hidden and slightly elevated. As I’m walking back, I realize that I can still see their family below me, and that they probably can’t see me. This is extremely uncomfortable for me, because now I feel like a major stalker.
So I run back to Dower and collapse on the couch. And I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Incidentally, Meredith saw the whole scene from a distance. She describes it thusly:
A cute, idealistic family of five is walking down a path. A redheaded toddler runs in front of her mother pushing a stroller. Then, a dark figure quickly descends upon them, her hair wildly flying behind her…
I still can’t get over the fact that I apparently have to consciously NOT stalk my math professor’s family. *facepalm*
Random bits.
1. I auditioned for a student run show today with one of the girls from my dorm. I don’t expect to get cast; I only auditioned for my friend Meredith, because she is producing the show, and she wanted more people to audition.
I think a part of me has always wanted to do formal drama, but it’s one of those things that’s hard to start doing (especially when there are people who have been doing it their whole life). I think that’s one of the problems with Wellesley…there are plenty of new things that I am trying, but some things are difficult because others have already mastered them. (i.e. music and drama). I’m not playing clarinet, because I’m not good enough to get free (for credit) lessons. Sometimes I walk past the windows where students are practicing… and I wish I could create. It’s made me realize that if I have a kid, I want them to learn an instrument at an early age. And no, I’m not going to be a super stressful parent…I just want them to be able to create an emotion (if they so choose). Whether it’s through music, art, drama, anything. (Calculus? Ehhhhh.)
2. I tried to get a helix ear piercing two weeks ago to no avail. But I’m going on my 18th birthday.
3. Please tell me that I’m not the only one who feels behind on their studies….I’m doing well in my Econ and English class, but Calculus and Arabic are brutal. I’m glad that I’m taking Calc pass/fail, but then there’s that little voice in the back of my mind that wonders if I will pass. I met with my Arabic TA today, and I think that I’m going to be doing that a lot more in the future.
I don’t know…there’s a lot of resources for students here, which is awesome. Up until now, I haven’t really wanted to use them….it’s really difficult for me to ask for help, especially here I think. It’s not because I’m so proud that I think that I don’t need it (HA), it’s more like…I don’t want to show others that I am not naturally talented at everything. Silly yes, but when you’re at a school where everyone is more/just as intelligent as you, your ego acts strangely.
4. Our campus is beautiful. Ahhh, the fall leaves. I really need to start carrying my camera around with me.
Anyway, now it’s time for me to stop procrastinating on calculus….
Dang it!
I can’t upload my show because the file is too big…effff.
Aw well. I’ve been dealing with technical difficulties all day, and at this point I’m not quite sure what else I can do. It’s ok though, since my first show was good, but some of the transitions were off.
Actually, funny story. So, I did my first show at 11, and it broadcast well. I was finishing up the recording, but after I stopped it and tried out the CD in my computer, it showed as blank. Which was terrible. So then, I brainstormed what I did wrong, and did another hour show at 1. I used the same CD to record the second show, and about 20 minutes in, the CD said that it was full. I was confused by then, but then I just decided to go on with it. At the end, I finalized the recording and popped the CD in my computer…to find my first show! And those 20 minutes of my second show. Ahhh.
My first show had better music (well, debatable), but the second one definitely had better transitions. In both, I had to play HR (heavy rotation) songs, so that’s why these playlists don’t add up to one hour:
11:00 show:
(One HR song worth remembering) “All is Love” by Karen O for the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack
“Hey Jude” – The Beatles (a shout out to my friend Maria, who texted me after I started my show.)
“Skin Is, My” – Andrew Bird
“Air War” – Crystal Castles
“Something Is Not Right With Me (INST Version)” – Cold War Kids
“The Shape Is In A Trace” – Thurston Moore
“Doubt/Hope” – Wildbirds and Peacedrums
“Cape Canaveral” – Conor Oberst
“Heart Swells/Pacific Daylight Time” – Los Campesinos!
“The Bears Are Coming” – Late of the Pier
“Leeds United” – Amanda Palmer
1:00 show:
“Formed a Band” – Art Brut
“Let’s Dance to Joy Division” – The Wombats
“Happens to Us Otherwise” – Bound Stems
“Profanity Prayers” – Beck
HR worth remembering: The Ravonettes
“Something” – The Beatles
“Fireworks” – Animal Collective
“I’m Good, I’m Gone (Lykke Li cover) – Friendly Fires
“Young Friend” – Brooke Waggoner
“Mon vieux Lucien” – Jil Aigrot
“Step Into My Office, Baby” – Belle and Sebastian
“Don’t You Want Me” – The Human League
“Through the Hosiery” – Crystal Castles
If you guys want, when I actually get a scheduled show, I’ll try to record it in smaller chucks. Maybe I would have to email it to ya’ll, because I think the max for blogging is 1.2 MB, which is barely anything. Or maybe I’ll get a slot that makes it easy to listen to in California and you guys can stream it. Anyway…I’ll work this out later.
Success!
WZLY (Wellesley’s radio station) finally has a live stream over the interwebs!
Click “listen”, yo.
I’m still interning, so I don’t have a show yet. The schedule is also on that page, so make sure you’re streaming while someone is playing something. =P
Actually, I intern on the Saturday, 10am – noon slot. And, I think I’m doing my hour show this weekend…(it’s part of finishing up the interning process). But, you know, if you don’t want to wake up to listen to me at 8am (Pacific Coast Time) on a Saturday, that’s totally understandable. Also, I’m recording it, so maybe I’ll post a mp3 of it to this blog? We’ll see.
The blessing/curse of Wellesley
I love practically everyone here. 99% of the young women I’ve met are down to earth and extremely likable.
One of the stereotypes of Wellesley is that it is full of rich snobs. This is not true.
I am currently residing in Wellesley’s smallest dorm: Dower House. It’s called a house because it is. There are two stories, and forty people live here. Most of the residents here are first-years. In most of the “college insider books” the segment about Wellesley says that Dower is one of the worst dorms. This is also untrue.
I’ve heard that it really depends on the people: some years Dower is awesome, other years it’s absolutely terrible. This year is definitely in the awesome category. I became really close to the other first years in my dorm within the orientation week. It’s almost scary…we do practically everything together. Some girls in other dorms talk about how they really don’t know most of the people in their dorm…I can’t relate at all. Wellesley is big on their community, and alumnae often refer to the “sisters” that they had during college. This statement, although possibly cheesy, is actually pretty true.
The main problem with this is that most of the people here are East Coasters. Which means that they can go home if they so choose. This weekend is three days, and therefore most of the girls in my dorm are home.
I’ve been hesitant to call Dower “home”, even though some of the girls here openly do. But I realized that Dower really is like my “home away from home”, and it’s been that way for a while now. Admitting that I am already so closely connected to a place and the people in it is actually kind of frightening…because I have been able to quickly break down social barriers, I have also left myself vulnerable. What if “Dower” as an idea means more to me than to others? I know this is not true, but when more than half of the people are gone, it’s easy to question.
Anyway. Back to Arabic homework.
Calm before the storm
Maybe I’m biased, but I think that it’s important to take life a moment at a time.
Yes, it’s true: I do have a calculus midterm tomorrow at 8:30 in the morning. I also have a paper to write before then.
But the stress that I am so tempted to succumb to didn’t stop me from enjoying this moment:
After my morning classes, I took a 25 minute nap. The cloudy morning light gently streamed through the windows, and when I finally decided to wake up, I turned on my iPod. The speakers started playing “Scarborough Fair”. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched the autumn leaves dancing before they mingled on the grass.
Ah, perfection.
Regarding Shakespeare and Donne
Shakespeare as portrayed in the Sonnets = pathetic, passive aggressive, obsessive, jealous, masochistic, judgmental and overly dependent.
In other words, he “needed to grow some balls”.
I admit that I haven’t read much of Donne yet, but so far my impression of him is far greater. (Maybe it’s because he is more ironic. And because he is so strange.) My budding fondness for him is evidenced in my revelation in class today:
“Woah. Donne’s ‘Paradoxes’ are 17th Century blog posts!”
‘Nuff said.
